he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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