Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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