no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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