Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
