Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
