Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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