They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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