Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
