my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
