oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
