pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
