It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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