All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
