Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
