Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
