either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize