I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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