trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
