You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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