I am puke
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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