Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
