I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
