when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
