This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
only if we run a train.
done.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
