apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
