Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
