it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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