I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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