I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
