I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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