i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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