Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
