Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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