he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
