You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Randomize
