You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
