it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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