I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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