Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
