please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
How's work?
Spinning.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
