I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
