we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
