We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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