There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
