I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
