singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
