we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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