idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
