Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
