$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
