Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you traded sex for a burrito?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
